Sovereign God

Today's Jesus Calling reminded me of one of the first passages I memorized in college, John 15:4-7

The devotional shared that God alone prepares us for the day, and the future.
I have been really thinking about God's sovereignty the past two weeks.
God sovereign over nature and natural disasters.
God sovereign over our enemies and the circumstances of others' choices around us.
God sovereign over our culture.
God sovereign over our decisions and free will, if we submit both of them to Him in our times of temptation and decision-making.
God sovereign over our natural bodies and inclination to sins, in a debate over dealing with the inclination towards sin.
God sovereign over me, as it is a DAILY conversation and surrendering things to Him, that don't grow me or satisfy me in relationship to Him.

Today, the devotional made me reflect that God has been sovereign over my past, my memories, and my walk along. As much as I wanted Him to give a huge revelation of what I was going to do with my life, ministry, and relationships - He didn't.
And He never left my side, never left me without hope, never left me without faith. He didn't show me a map and all the twists and turns of my journey. He did give me a vision of what it would be like if I stayed with Him, and trusted Him for what I needed daily.
Like anyone else, if I had had a map. I would have avoided some of the rest stops, the difficult parts, the scary parts. I would have avoided the trips up the mountains and the trips through the valleys, so I could get the "best parts." I would have perhaps skipped all the parts of the journey where I would have heard His voice the most, needed His presence the most, needed to seek Him the most, needed to pray the most, needed to grow in faith the most. I would have detoured around places in my journey, which might have missed meeting someone that day that needed me, or a time I needed them. I could have missed the opportunities that I have had, and like George Bailey, had never had an encounter with others or with God.
Through each of those moments, the times I remember I needed God most, were sometimes the most dark, the most painful, the most tearful, and the best times I cried out to the Lord, believing and in faith He would - be sovereign. They were times I called out to Him to help me, to act on behalf of me, to open or close a door to me, to reveal to me a plan in the midst of my fears of the unknown.
The other times were the peaks, he mountaintop moments, times I was so close to God I was joyful, in tears, worshipping boldly, or silently in wonderful awe. There were the moments I knew Him and He knew me, and the Spirit of God was upon me as I witnessed, worshipped, and served.
"They were the best of times and the worst, of times" - to quote Dickens.
The devotional reminded me that His presence, in all of those times, was what I needed most, because He knew the way and I would have missed all of those things.
The sovereign Lord knows what is best for me and my faith, and if I thought I did, think of all I would have missed if I had known the complete way.
Like the Garth Brooks songs of my high school days, "I would have missed the pain, and the dance," and "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."
God, in His sovereignty, knew not to give me the big map. God knew me and my future well enough, to not give me the answers to prayers or what I thought I needed or wanted at that time I was asking for it. He knew that the momentary pain or fear of the moment, would lead me to trust Him more, to seek His presence more. He knew that my singleness from 1998-2007 would be a trying time, but I would discover myself, my friends, my work companions, and all of the other relationships as the best of times; despite my constant wondering if I would be single for life and my prayers to meet someone.
He knew that all of the times I was in a panicked anxiety when I lost a job or had barely enough to buy food for the week from the Dollar Store, in Wilmore, Kentucky. He knew those times I would have the deepest prayers of thankfulness over Ramen Noodles, or the deepest trust that He would be my Provider for my next meal, and the next answer to prayer. He taught me to be thankful daily.
He showed me my worst, my jealousy, my hate when I couldn't have what others had - but also what real love looked like, and what it was truly like to go without, because there was something greater, and a purpose for why I was going without.
He transformed me, through all of those, even when I didn't have the map, or know the way, or even know what the heck He was doing in my life at those times!
He was sovereign. He knew me, He knew what was going to challenge me the most, grow me the most, strengthen me the most, to prepare me and equip me the most, for the next moment, the next opportunity, the next mistake, the next failure, the next sin. He wasn't a stagnant God. He knew what I was going to do and already decides to have a way to use it. If I sinned, he was going to use my guilty feelings to get me back to Him, to reconcile with that person, to learn from it and to move on. If I messed up and lost the job, to learn from it and be ready not to make that same mistakes or take the same kind of job. When I succeeded, He was going to build on that success, that witnessing, those prayers with others - to equip me and help me be even less afraid to share or speak in faith. He is God who moves.
In Exodus, Moses asked to see God, and God being who He is, allows Him with with stipulation that He is so holy, that Moses cannot look at Him or experience Him directly - for it would kill Moses. God tells Moses He will  hide Moses in a cleft in the rock cover Moses with His hand, and when God passes by the spot, Moses may look out as He removes His hand and passes,  that Moses may see His back.
God is sovereign in this and it allowed me to see more of God in this devotional.
God answers Moses's prayers to see Him - but not in the way Moses desires. God answers Moses in the best way for Moses and at the same time answering Moses's desire to see Him. First, God doesn't want Moses to die! And secondly, to remind Moses that He alone is sovereign and will do as He pleases. He is holy, so holy that Moses and any man would die to see Him face to face. And as I saw today, God is always moving. He is moving forward. While Moses wants to stop and pause, to take in the relationship and this moment with God, God is always moving forward to the next good thing. If we had the full map, would we stop at certain places and linger? Would we be afraid to move forward, because we "just want to enjoy this moment, this life here right now?" How often I have said that, or looked nostalgically at the way life used to be, or how it was when I was...God was moving forward and expecting Moses to come out of the cleft, out of the experience of seeing Him pass by, to the next thing.
Jesus spoke of this same expectation in Matthew 10:27-31. He tells us, "What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid..."
Moses wasn't just supposed to enjoy the moment and staff in the cleft of the rock. He was supposed to come out, and keep walking with God. He was supposed to go and tell the people of God, what He experienced - the Presence of the Holy Lord - and lead them to how they could experience His Presence too!

God wasn't just living with me in my past for that day or moment. He was using it to prepare me for the next day, and the next week, and the next month - for the future. He was proving to me that He is a God of the future - not just my past and present. He is sovereign - He knows my future, so He promises me a hope, a plan - not that I should fail or perish, but to prosper and to grow. It's my family's verse - Jeremiah 29:11.
And He has, and He still will. He always will, no matter how much of the map I have seen.

So I like what the devotional says, as scary as it is, when it speaks on behalf of what God will do:

"I will not show you what is on the road ahead, but I will thoroughly equip you for the journey. My living Presence is your Companion each step of the way. Stay in continual communication with Me, whispering My Name whenever you need to redirect your thoughts. Thus, you can walk through this day with your focus on Me. My abiding Presence is the best road map available." - Jesus Calling Devotional, January 12th

The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." - Exodus 33:14

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. - John 15:4-7